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Sunday, March 2, 2014
There are moments in our lives that define us--that push us, sometimes kicking and screaming, to be the person we are or to realize the person we could be. For some, it's a series of life events, but for others, it's a single, defining moment of clarity that hits you like lightning from the Heavens. For me, this single, defining moment was meeting my birth mother and discovering that I was a child conceived, not in love, but by a brutal act of violence.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
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Seeing the fruits of our labor doesn't
happen everyday in the pro-life community. But when a baby is saved
from abortion, all glory be to God!
June 10, 2013
started out like any other day at "Allen County Right to Life"
in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Everyone was working on projects for upcoming
events. I was making calls regarding our Banquet dinner in October
when my cell phone rang. It was my oldest daughter, Ali. I answered
the phone and she informed me that a friend of hers had called her
and asked if she would drive her to her appointment today at the
abortion clinic. I sat stunned for a moment thinking why is this girl
calling my daughter knowing that my daughter is against abortion.
Ali asked me if she should go with her friend, and as stunned as I
was, I immediately said "yes! She is going to need you!” I
asked that she stop into my office first before she takes her into
the clinic. I knew the resources we had could save this child's life.
Ali agreed to bring her to the office before heading to the clinic.
"Allen County Right to Life" is right beside the abortion
clinic and two doors down from us is "The Hope Center"
where they have an ultrasound machine.
I immediately let everyone in the
office know what was going on. Julie Perkins, Executive Director of
"Women's Health Link", and I started working on a plan.
When my daughter arrived we immediately jumped into action working on
saving this child's life and also this woman from a lifetime of
guilt. Ali’s friend agreed to allow an ultrasound and what she
saw, saved her child's life. She was 9 weeks pregnant and she started
crying as soon as she saw her child on the screen.
Being a pro-life Christian and just
trying to be faithful to Gods plan we sometimes don’t get to see
the miracles that we are a part of. We occasionally lose site of
God's path because we don't see the end result. Mother Theresa says
it best "God doesn't ask us to be successful, he asks us to be
faithful".
Feb 5th, 2014, I got to hold
the child that was almost killed on June 10th, 2013. He came into
this world weighting 9 lbs, 9 oz. and is beautiful. Welcome to the
world Blake!
The reason I fight so hard for the
unborn is because I was saved from abortion when my birth-mother
changed her mind back in 1972, after being brutally raped at the age
of 17. She abandoned me at a hospital 2 hours after I was born.
Saving lives has been a part of my daily routine for a long time, as
today I am a firefighter and a medic. I have been named the "Fighter
for Life" by my friends in South Africa! I am so blessed to
have been able to follow God's path that he so intricately laid out
for me all those years ago. I know that these blessings are from a
scared, selfless, 17 year old girl.
Along with my busy schedule working as
a medic/firefighter, I am also the founder of "Living
Exceptions". Living Exceptions is an organization made up of
individuals who were conceived in rape or incest and teaches
pro-lifers how to be 100% pro-life and not make exceptions for the
lives that are less convenient. You can connect with a pro-life
speaker at www.LivingExceptions.com.
I have dedicated my life to saving
lives, born and unborn!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
When someone says, "I am pro-life except in the case of rape or incest", they are using an oxymoron to describe themselves. This is in essence describing themselves as pro-choice and have a lack of understanding of what being pro-life is truly about. Glenn Beck, who my husband listens to almost daily, is a good example of someone who is highly intelligent but lacks the understanding of what it means to be pro-life with no exceptions. Let me explain.
First of all, let me tell you about who I am. I am a medic and a firefighter from Indiana. Four years ago at the age of 37 I reconnected with my birth-mother who placed me for adoption at birth. The information she entrusted in me the day we reconnected has changed the course of my life forever. My birth-mother was brutally raped at 17 and as a result became pregnant with me. But in 1972 my life was protected by a law that said that my life had value. And even though the law was in place, protecting me, my birth-mother succumbed to the pressure of carrying a child conceived out of rape and found herself at a back alley abortion clinic at the advice of her mother. While standing in front of the man who was going to take my life, my birth-mother changed her mind. She left this clinic and never looked back. Her mother hid her from the outside world. She gave birth to me and never even looked at me. But she gave me the greatest gift I have ever received, on top of giving me my life, she gave me an amazing family. And for that I will forever be grateful.
When someone decides that they are pro-life, they have come to the understanding that this child deserves his or her right to life. They understand that no matter how a child was conceived, whether by two people in some type of relationship, or by the horrible act of rape or incest, the child should not pay the price and be given the death penalty. If someone has an exception for rape or incest, they are no longer pro-life but are pro-choice. We would say that a pregnant couple needs to take responsibility for their actions instead of killing a child to keep the lifestyle they want or need. We would also say that if you get pregnant and are not ready to have a child then adoption is the best option. But what about a child who is not conceived with wine and roses? What if a child is conceived out of a horrible act that man meant for evil? Do we then not look at this child as a child who deserves their right to life? Does this child not have the same rights as a child conceived with wine and roses? If we say that we are against abortion because the child shouldn't pay the price then why are we making an exception for a child whose conception was less fortunate? Glenn Beck often refers to his belief on this subject as we think of the mother who was raped or rather that it would be a difficult decision to make if she was raped. Of course we think about her rights and her emotional state. However, sometimes we get so wrapped up in the emotional state of the woman, we forget that there is an innocent living being inside who has a right to live as well. Glenn, I would like to give you something to think about.
Since I am a medic I am going to put this in terms I can easily explain.
Lets say your daughter is in a horrible two car accident and the person in the other car died. Your daughter was trapped in a car for two hours before firefighters could extricate her. They get her out of the car and discover her right thigh (femur bone) is broken and is protruding out of her leg. This is the biggest, strongest bone in our body. As a medic we put her leg in traction, stabilize her and rush her to the hospital. While at the hospital they run lots of tests and x-ray's. Inevitably they decide she needs surgery. The doctor finally comes in to talk to the family after surgery and says "I have some bad news". Her femur bone is broken but we have stabilized it, put pins in it and she will be in traction for about 6-9 months until it heals. She might have a little bit of a limp for the rest of her life when it heals or she could recover 100%. We just wont know till she is out of traction. Now at this point, your daughters life has been through a traumatic event, she has a leg in traction and her life now is on hold for 6-9 months until her leg heals. What about the emotional state of your daughter? Should she be forced into traction, left to deal with the trauma of an accident that took someone's life and have to put her life on hold for 6-9 months? What if your daughter said, "I just can't deal with all this just cut my leg off so I can get my life back and not have to deal with all this emotional and physical trauma". Will cutting her viable leg off fix the problem? No, she will has to heal, emotionally and physically just like a woman who was raped. 60% of pro-lifers like yourself think the same way you do. But it's time we start realizing that abortion isn't going to fix the rape. The woman needs to heal emotionally and physically and killing her child isn't going to take that away. Bad things happen to good people, but it's never ok to kill a child because of a bad situation.
I am a firefighter and a medic from Indiana who saves lives on a daily basis. My life was saved back in 1972 when my birth-mother walked out of that back alley abortion clinic and now I save lives. I have emailed you a few times and I understand that you must be busy but I am asking that you would sit down and have lunch with me. My treat. Let me talk to you from the child's point of view who was conceived in rape. I can show you what man meant for evil, God made for good.
You can follow my ministry at my website http://www.monicakelsey.com/ or www.facebook/mkprolife
Saturday, January 25, 2014
When I discovered that I was conceived in rape, the uncontrollable emotions of anger and hatred filled my body for several months on into years. I was literally “out to get” my birthfather and wanted to “make him pay” for what he had done to my birthmother. As I learned to cope with and accept the truth, I eventually realized that the only way for me to be at peace was through forgiveness. Forgiving my birthfather for the circumstances of my conception has proven to be one of the most difficult and emotional periods in my life. Only through the grace of God and the support of my husband was I able to accomplish this.
On a cold morning in January, I made a surprise phone call to my birthmother hoping to reconnect and answer questions that I have had for many years. A few hours later my husband and I were making the three hour trip in the snow to visit the woman that placed me up for adoption 37 years prior. It was an amazing reunion and she was absolutely beautiful in every single way.
Monica Kelsey
After visiting with her for a while, as I was holding my husband’s hand, I asked her “Who is my birthfather?” The look on her face is one I will never forget. Her eyes squinted and an instant look of sadness had overcome her. After a long uncomfortable silence, nothing prepared me for what I heard next. It was like watching a movie about someone else’s life. My birthmother began to tell me about a dark night in 1972 where she was brutally raped and left along the side of the road to die. My heart sank as she was telling me this horrible story. I could not immediately comprehend that she was describing the circumstances of my conception and I kept asking myself, “What does this have to do with me?”
My husband’s hand started to grab my hand a little bit tighter. She went on to say her mother took her to the hospital and then to the police station to press charges. Her life was in a total tail spin and she was quickly falling into a depression. Then a few weeks later her worst nightmare come true. She found out she was pregnant with me. As my birthmother sat in her living room telling me the graphic details I started to wonder how anyone could do this to another human being. How could this man, or monster was a better word, force a woman against her will?
With advice from her mother, she went to a back alley abortion clinic hoping to “get her life back” and to forget what had happened. After showing up to this “so called” clinic and while standing in front of the man who was going to take my life, she changed her mind. She left the clinic and never looked back. Her mother hid her from the outside world, she gave birth to me and never even looked at me. She didn’t even know if I was a boy or girl. At this point, I was so angry with this man who raped her, I didn’t even truly understand that he was my biological father. That shock finally hit me for a few days later.
After accepting the truth I grew more and more angry with my biological father for what he had done. My birthmother fell into a deep depression which led to alcohol and drug abuse for many years. I wanted revenge on my birthfather for his mistreatment of my birthmother and these emotions eventually consumed my life for many months.
My birthmother passed away in March of 2013. In one of my final conversations with her, I asked how she had felt about my birthfather. Her response was shocking to me. She said, “I had forgiven him a long time ago, he doesn’t control me anymore”. She went on to say that he had controlled her life for so many years and she was finally strong enough to take her life back. She then said something that I will never forget. She said “you need to forgive him and free yourself also”. I smiled after she said this statement, for no other reason than the fact that she knew her daughter and she knew I was hurting.
Today, I live my life free and realize that forgiveness is the path to righteousness. I pray for him and his family as well. We all fall short of the glory of God sometimes and it’s an absolute blessing that we all have the power to repent because Jesus died for all of us, even my birthfather. My birthmother once told me, “it’s amazing how something so beautiful has come out of something so horrible”. I couldn’t agree more. God sometimes uses our deepest pain to be the launching pad to our greatest calling. I am confident that many babies will have a birthday because of my birthmothers’ story and my courage to tell it!
Ashley was 14 years old when I read an article about her in the newspaper discussing how she was raped and as a result became pregnant.
Ashley and Aiden
From the moment Ashley found out she was pregnant, she knew that carrying her baby to term was her only option. On June 26, 2013, her son Aiden was born and he has warmed the hearts of everyone that he comes into contact with. Throughout the Summer and Fall of 2013, I have had to privilege of getting to know not only Ashley and Aiden but her parents as well. Ashley has a wonderful family and I have come to realize that they are her biggest supporters.
Ashley's rapist was 17 years old and happened to be a friend of her brother's at the time. He was convicted and charged as a juvenile, so the judge decided to only charge him with molestation. Given that he was a minor, a charge of molestation instead of rape might seem reasonable to some. Sadly, however, this was not his first offense. It was his third. He had been charged with molestation in the cases of two other girls he had raped besides Ashley. He didn't spend any time in jail for his crimes and his punishment was probation, drug testing and sexual aggression classes. Since Ashley's rapist was charged as a juvenile he does not have to register as a sex offender.
When Ashley went back to school she was shocked to learn that her rapist was allowed to attend the same school with her, as if nothing had ever happened. Instead of removing her perpetrator from the school, authorities gave her the option to go to an alternative school. This seemed unfair to almost everyone, since she is the one who has to make all the adjustments. She plans on returning to the main school as soon as possible. However, until her rapist is removed, she feels attending the alternative school is the best decision for her.
Ashley's mother and I attended a school board meeting asking for her rapist to be put into the alternative school so Ashley could rejoin her friends. Surprisingly, the board seemed unaware of her situation. Nevertheless they were concerned. As of this time, the school board has not made a decision and Ashley still attends the alternative school.
In August I invited Ashley to go on a two-day vacation with me and my 14-year-old daughter. Ashley’s mother, Kristi, volunteered to watch Aiden so that she could come with us. Even though Aiden is a blessing for her and everyone in her life I feel it is important that Ashley enjoys life as a teenager should. She didn't ask to be raped, she didn't ask to be a mom, but she has accepted the role that God chose for her.
Ashley's positive attitude is what makes her so unique, as she is always looking for the best out of every situation. Aiden is growing and has started to try to crawl. He loves his mom, loves to sing and loves to have his picture taken. It is hard to not fall in love with Ashley and Aiden when you come into contact with them because she is so positive.
Ashley would like to thank everyone for all the prayers and gifts through the last six months. Her family says that the diapers and formula that are being donated are helping them out tremendously.
Ashley's mom wants to thank everyone publicly. Here is a short message from her. “Thank you everyone for all the prayers and support for my daughter Ashley and my grandson Aiden. Monica from Save The 1 is amazing and has made such a difference in our lives. Honestly without their help I don't know how we would make it through. Thank you all so much from my family and thank you Monica for all the hard work and dedication!!”
Ashley's advice to young girls is "Always stay strong and remember your not what happened to you in your life, your what you choose to become."
If you would like to donate diapers, wipes, baby food or formula for Aiden please visit www.MonicaKelsey.com and click the donate button with Ashley and Aidens picture. 100% of donations go to Ashley and Aiden.
Friday, November 8, 2013
The death of a child is a parent’s worst nightmare. We go through this life believing that our children bury us, not that we will bury our children. That somehow we will always out live our children. But for my parents, their worst nightmare came true. My brother’s death was undeniably the worst day of my parents’ lives. But through the grief of losing a son, God's plan was to save two little girls.
My parents were married on June 27, 1970 after my dad returned home from Vietnam. They had dated for many years and knew they would get married and start a family when he finally returned. My dad always prayed for a son, like most fathers do, to carry on the family name. He would have taken any child that God gave him, and to his excitement he was blessed with a son on June 2, 1971.
My mom tells me the story of how my little brother, Robbie, was born three years before me and passed away after only living 24 hours. “He was absolutely beautiful and perfect,” my mom says. All 10 pounds, 13 ounces of him. “I know he is in heaven waiting for me and I know he is in good hands.” She points out that she trusted God and his reasoning but never understood it. Today she says “His reasoning is clear”.
As long as I can remember, my adoption was something I always knew about even though my parents didn't talk about it often. I was one of their daughters, and was never made to feel like anything but. My parents had three children in addition to Robbie. I have an older sister who was adopted also and a younger sister who is their biological child. My older sister was 2-years-old, malnourished and abused, when she was placed with my parents. She was taken from her parents because of abuse and neglect and almost died because of it. I was brought to my parents on June 8, 1973 after becoming eligible for adoption. My parents were told that I was placed for adoption because my birth mother was too young to care for me. Later we discovered that my birth-mother was very young and was brutally raped and as a result became pregnant with me. My older sister and I were chosen by my adoptive parents. My family was then blessed five years later when my mother became pregnant and gave birth to my younger sister.
When we were young, my older sister used to hook me up to a dog chain and make me drink from a dog bowl. When she started making me eat dog treats I quickly discovered that I was being mistreated. Although the dog treats weren’t bad as they tasted like bacon, I had to tell her enough was enough. My older sister was known for how bossy she was and I was known as the instigator. My younger sister was known as the informer and was sent with me to most parties to fill my parents in when we returned. I am sure you understand my parents’reasoning for sending the informer with the instigator. For some reason it never worked out well for me.
My dad often laughed about having three girls. Living in a huge house with nine rooms and only one bathroom, God obviously had a sense of humor. My dad is thankful now that his three girls are married with families of their own because his showers are hot instead of cold. He often would ask, “Who used all the hot water?” Being the instigator I would speak up quickly and say, “Not me; it was your other daughters!” My younger sister (the informer) would quickly point out that I was in the bathroom for over an hour with the water running. My dad did, however, make sure that our family dog was a male so he didn't feel so outnumbered.
Growing up adopted has provided many emotions that most don’t understand. I felt blessed to be a part of such an amazing family but I always wanted to meet the woman who gave birth to me and thank her for allowing me to be so blessed by an amazing family. I have met my birth mother and I hugged her and thanked her for giving me the gift of adoption. She was beautiful and amazing. She was so thankful that she was able to take her worst pain, and turn it into such a beautiful gift for my parents.
My parents continue to love this instigator unconditionally and have been amazing role models for me. They have been married for 46 years and their endless love for each other is truly breathtaking. My mom states today that God's reasoning is clear. She knows that two little girls desperately needed a home with two loving parents and if Robbie wouldn't have gone to heaven so soon, where would her two daughters be today? I used to think that I was a gift from God to my parents, today I realize that my parents were a gift for me.
Today, I am a pro-life speaker and adoption advocate traveling the world spreading the message that God can take our deepest pain, and turn it into something beautiful. You can follow me on this path that God has so intricately paved for me at www.facebook.com/mkprolifeor www.monicakelsey.com
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
The odds of finding a diamond at Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas is less than 1% a year. This park is known for their motto "finders, keepers." More than 150,000 people a year try their luck at digging for diamonds and less than 600 diamonds are found each year. Some individuals spend their entire vacation and walk away with just wet clothes, dirty shoes, and some dusty memories. But it's the thought of "what if" that keeps people coming back year after year. Some people think it's just luck, but after my visit and amazing discovery of a sparkling jewel among the dirt and rocks, I believe it was truly a sign from above.
In March when my birthmother passed away unexpectedly at the age of 57, a part of my life was gone. This facet of my life was over, I thought, as if a part of me died with her. I was angry that God had taken her from me so soon. Even though I reconnected with her 3 years ago and loved every minute of our bittersweet reunion, three years wasn't enough time to get to know the woman who sacrificed so much to bring me into this world. As I sat by her hospital bed holding her hand and praying, she took her last breath. My heart was broken.
At the age of 17, my birthmother, much to her horror, was violently raped and became pregnant with me. She hid her pregnancy from the outside world and abandoned me at a hospital two hours after I was born. As I spoke at her funeral about the courage, hope, and sacrifice it took for her to give birth to me and place me up for adoption, many of the people in attendance were shocked. Some had no idea that I even existed. I quickly realized that I was this family's secret, my birthmothers "diamond in the rough," if you will.
After the funeral, I became good friends with a cousin of mine who almost became my sister. My cousins parents (my birth aunt and uncle) knew about the pregnancy and wanted to adopt me, but my birthmother's mother had other plans: First, abortion, and then if that didn't happen, adoption for sure. The adoption was a gift to my adoptive parents, who had been praying for a child for years. My mom and dad are my inspiration, and I couldn't imagine my life without them in it.
On October 20th, my birth cousin and I traveled to Arkansas, the home of my ancestors, to spend time with some of my birthmother's family. I went to see where my grandparents were buried, and to my shock, discovered my grandfather passed away when my birthmother was pregnant with me. Discovering this news and seeing his tombstone made me appreciate my birthmother's courage and strength even more. First, being raped and then finding out she is pregnant with me, followed by her father's passing would bring anyone to their knees. How strong she must have been!
During the visit, my birth cousin and I decided to try our luck at treasure hunting at Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas. This year only 399 people out of 60,000 visitors to the park have uncovered diamonds. After sifting through dirt for two hours, clothes wet and shoes dirty, we decided that my 82-year-old uncle, who tagged along, was tired of sifting through dirt, so we decided to call it a day. I took a short walk around the property, appreciating the gift God had given me. I had prayed for my birth family for years and here I am spending time with two people my birthmother cherished and loved unconditionally. It was the answer to so many of my prayers. As I was heading back up to get my bucket and join my family, I happened to look down and a shining sparkle in the gravel caught my eye. I bent over, brushed the top of the stone off, and picked it up. I knew what it was as soon as I held it up: a yellow diamond. The staff at the park verified it was a diamond and weighed it. Much to my surprise, it was over a half carat. My diamond is number 400 for the year 2013.
After arriving back home and gathering my thoughts, I realized that the week with my birth family had been about family, life, and the power of prayer. For so many years, I prayed for a relationship with my birth family. I had faith that when God knew it was time, he would let it shine and sparkle. I had faith that one day I would become my birthmother's "diamond in the rough". My birthmother loved life, the outdoors, and her family, me included. She loved me so much that she gave me what she knew she couldn't--the love and security of an amazing adoptive family. Maybe the visit to the park was a reminder that the light is still shining. That a diamond in the rough is always just a step away! God took my birthmother's deepest pain and turned it into the most precious of jewels--a future of faith and family for her baby. Then He took my pain from her death and turned it into an answered prayer. Thank you, Lord, for my birthmother, her family and her strength, and of course, for the gift of what I thought would be unanswered prayers.
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