Sunday, May 17, 2015

Conceived in Incest: Why I cannot remain silent on the 20 week fetal pain bill…

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Conceived in Incest: Why I cannot remain silent on the 20 week fetal pain bill…
By Kristi Hofferber

Define pain…  Is it the act of being torn limb from limb, or maybe it is the act of being discriminated against?  This question remains at the center of a nationwide hot topic issue surrounding abortion in America.  Unfortunately with the piece of legislation known as H.R. 36, those of us who are conceived in rape or incest will feel the pain in both instances.  This bill, if passed, will seek to minimize abortion after 20 weeks gestation for the unborn under the premise that they can feel pain at or after this state in the womb.  But wait, there is a caveat.  If the woman claims rape, or that she is the victim of incest, she receives a free pass.  She is then able to obtain the abortion up until the day of delivery if she so chooses.  So how is the H.R 36 a step forward?  This sends the wrong message to women who need support and compassion in these situations, not an excuse to potentially bring themselves further trauma and the loss of their unborn child, not to mention that we (those of us conceived in rape or incest) feel pain too at this state of gestation. 
My personal story has been shared many times in the pro-life realm, but do people really understand the situation?  There were six children conceived between my biological mother and her own father, four of which tragically lost their lives to abortion to conceal his criminal actions.  These children were given the death penalty for the crime of our biological father.  This hardly seems like justice!  In fact, the law allowed this “opportunity” for our biological father to cover his crimes, and ensure that the evidence was “taken care of.”  So then what for his daughter, our biological mother?  First and foremost, the abuse should have never happened. Secondly, no one batted an eye when my biological father took her time and time again to the same abortion clinic.  So who is being protected by legislation that includes a rape and incest exception?  We are providing the rapist with the ultimate escape!  Why then would we tout this legislation as progress when the victims are legally allowed to be victimized yet again? 
I am the only surviving child of this horrific situation.  I was adopted at birth, grew up in nurturing and stable home, and I am now finishing my master’s degree in social work to further extend my abilities to help these women and children.  I know that my life is not in vein, and I will stand firm in support of legislation that defends 100% of unborn children in America.  The pro-life movement needs more organizations and individuals who are willing to put it all on the line and stand boldly against this type of discriminatory legislation.  We need to be firmly united in support of laws that do not defile an entire class of children, and hold our legislators accountable from the start.  As American citizens we do not accept discrimination between one race over another, so then why should we allow it with the lives of the unborn who are the most vulnerable of our population?  If abortion was illegal in cases such as rape and incest in this country, my birthmother would not have endured over twenty years of abuse by her own father.  Standing for what is right, especially when it comes to innocent lives, is crucial to gaining ground and ending abortion in our country.  Are you willing to take a stand for what’s right, or are you going to defend legislation that further harms women, punishes a child with death because of the crimes of his or her father, and allows the criminal to walk away unscathed?  I am not willing compromise the value of your life, why should the value of those of us conceived in rape or incest be any less?
To learn more about Kristi’s story, follow her on Facebook at Kristi Hofferber, Pro-life Speaker, or at www.kristihofferber.com.  Kristi is the wife of a pastor, and together they have one son.  She speaks nationally and internationally on the importance of “no exceptions” in pro-life issues, and she is a founding member of Living Exceptions.

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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

13 year old Ashley was raped and became pregnant. Here is an update!

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Two years ago we brought you a story about an amazing young 13-year- old girl named Ashley from Elwood, Indiana, who was raped by her brother’s friend and became pregnant. Ashley prosecuted her rapist, and he was charged and convicted on three counts as Ashley wasn’t his only victim. This story tugged on the heart strings of millions of Americans as this young girl chose to carry her child to term and gave birth to a beautiful little boy she named Aiden.  Planned Parenthood of Indiana even weighed in on Ashley’s tragic story via their official Facebook page by posting a link to an article written in the Indianapolis Star by saying the following: “As this article notes, heartbreaking stories like this are all too common in Indiana, which ranks second in the number of teen sexual assaults. Comprehensive sex ed can make a difference in preventing sexual assaults.”  It seems as if Planned Parenthood feels that giving rapist more sexual education will keep them from raping women.
Ashley, now 15, is a freshman in high school and has adapted to her new role as student and young mother. After the birth of Aiden, Ashley returned to school, and much to her shock, discovered that the boy who was convicted of raping her was allowed to attend the same school. Her rapist, who was also a minor when the crime occurred, was protected as a juvenile and his identity was never released. Ashley was quickly taken out of the main school by her parents and put into an alternate school, so she could continue her studies without incident.  Ashley is excelling in her classes and is a straight A student.
Last August, Ashley’s family faced another devastating tragedy. Her brother was killed by a hit-and-run driver while riding his bike not far from the family home. The perpetrator still hasn't been identified. This tragic event has devastated this family, but through prayer and the assistance of family and friends, they are putting their lives back together once again.
Although this road hasn’t been easy, Aiden is now 18 months old and has brought his young mother love and healing from a situation that once felt unbearable.   Ashley will be attending the March for Life this year with the organization Living Exceptions, as Aiden is a true “Living Exception" and his and Ashley's story epitomizes the mission of this life-saving organization. Stop by the Living Exceptions booth and give Ashley words of encouragement as she continues to embrace life by raising her son and doing the right thing.
If you would like to donate to Ashley and Aiden, you can do so at www.LivingExceptions.com. All donations to Ashley and Aiden go directly to help the family to buy diapers, wipes, and clothing, or you can choose to help defray Ashley's expenses when she is out in Washington attending the March for Life. 
Currently, Ashley does not receive support from the State of Indiana. Unfortunately, the state of Indiana is one of 31 states that has no law protecting a  child conceived through rape from his biological father.  If Ashley files for any kind of government assistance, the state must go after Aiden’s biological father for repayment. In return, he can demand visitation rights.  We are encouraging legislators to pass legislation protecting these children and their mothers from being victimized once again by terminating any rights that father might have. But until Indiana changes its law regarding children conceived in rape, Ashley’s parents must bear the financial burden of caring for Aiden. If you would like to read more on the states that have no laws protecting children who are conceived through rape you can go to www.31states.com for more info.
As individuals committed to the pro-life cause, we must be willing to step up and support young girls, such as Ashley. If you are financially able, please consider helping this young mother. To follow Ashley and Aiden’s story visit my Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/mkprolife.
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Monday, January 5, 2015

Dead newborn found in the woods in Indianapolis could have been saved by the Safe Haven Law

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As I sit at the fire station working my shift as a medic/firefighter, waiting for our next emergency, my heart is heavy. I just got a call that another newborn child has been found dead in the woods in Indianapolis, umbilical cord still attached and discarded like a piece of trash.  I wonder if this young mother knew that there is a law that could have saved her young daughter and this young mothers name would have never been known.  The law I'm referring to is the Safe Haven Law--a law that has been in effect for almost 14 years that has saved the lives of almost 3000 babies nationwide.
 
Back in April 1973, a young 17-year-old girl, scared and alone, gave birth to a baby girl. She had been raped nine months prior and was determined to do what she felt was best for her baby. Two hours after giving birth, she abandoned her baby at a local hospital, the one place where she knew her baby would be cared for and protected. I was that baby, and my biological mother abandoned me without the protection of the Safe Haven Law. She did it out of desperation because she felt there was no other option.  Today, however, we have a law in place that protects not only the life of the child, but also protects the mother from prosecution. The Safe Haven Law was enacted to give women like my birthmother who find themselves scared, alone, and desperate an alternative to abandoning their child.
 
The Safe Haven Law, also called the Baby Moses Law in some states, is in all 50 states and in the District of Columbia. The law is in place to protect all parties involved. In most states, a woman has 30 days after birth to safely surrender the child at any fire station, police station or hospital with no questions asked. In some of these states, the girl gets free medical care to assist with the birth of the child or any complications resulting from the birth. This law is a win, win situation for all parties involved. The mother walks away with zero chance of prosecution, while the baby has the opportunity to be adopted into a loving home, and a family opens their hearts and home to the child for whom they've prayed.
 
As we were busy making plans to celebrate the beginning of a new year a desperate young woman out of Indianapolis felt she had no choice, no other option, but to continue to hide her pregnancy, and once that child was born, to hide her from the world. Unfortunately, she made a devastating choice and left her baby in the woods, exposed to the elements of harsh winter. Now, we are planning a funeral for a child that never had the opportunity to see her first birthday.  This child has been named “Amelia Hope” as the name Amelia means defender.
As a firefighter/medic for the state of Indiana and the fact that I was abandoned as a child, I feel a personal need to educate our youth and our communities about this life-saving law.  In a perfect world, we would prefer that the mother come forward, visit a local crisis pregnancy center, and receive the assistance and counseling she needs; however, this may not be possible in all situations. With these cases, we want young women to know that the Safe Haven Law is there as an option that respects the lives of both mother and child.
If you or someone you know would like more information about relinquishing a newborn child, please call 1-877-796-HOPE or go to www.SafeHavenLaw.com.
 
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Monday, July 28, 2014

Saving Baby Henry

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A few months ago, we brought you the story of a young couple who received the devastating news that their unborn baby had a life-threatening condition called BOO syndrome. This courageous couple rejected abortion and decided to fight for the life of this innocent child. For the last few months, Emily has been on bed rest and living in an apartment in Cincinnati, Ohio, to be close to the hospital that can save Henry when we is born. Her husband, Kevin, has been living at home in Indiana to continue working to provide for their new family.
On July 18, 2014, Henry arrived two months early, weighing only 4 lbs, 3 oz, and is 18 inches long. At barely three days old, he already has had two bedside procedures and one major surgery. Doctors have determined that there probably is some function left in one of Henry's kidneys, and they are fighting to sustain it for as long as possible. The hope is to delay the need for dialysis as he is too small and weak to tolerate the procedure at this time. This loving family has such a long road ahead of them, and they are currently discussing long term options with doctors.
Instead of cradling their young son in their arms and heading home to begin a new life as a family, Emily and Kevin are engaged in a battle to save Henry's life. Instead of despair, though, their message for everyone is a message of hope and faith:
“We are so blessed and thankful that Henry has arrived safely for the most part. We just wanted to let everyone know that he is here and we appreciate all the prayers, love, and support from around the world. No doubt the original article put us in touch with supporters that brought us much love throughout this entire process! Thank you!!"
 
As Emily and Kevin continue the quest to save their precious baby boy, please consider making a donation to support this young couple. All proceeds go directly toward medical bills for Henry and Emily.
 
http://www.lifenews.com/2014/05/07/they-rejected-abortion-when-told-their-baby-had-a-major-medical-issue-now-they-need-your-help/
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Saturday, July 12, 2014

What You Call a Rape Exception is an Innocent Child Worthy of Life

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What if you learned after 37 years that your birth father was a rapist and that he brutally beat and raped your birth mother, abandoning her along the side of the road to die? To make matters worse, you discover that  your life was almost taken by abortion because someone wanted you dead and paid a stranger to make it happen. After uncovering the tragedy surrounding your conception and life, how would you look at your life or yourself? Would you continue on with your life like nothing ever happened? Would you guard your secret, never telling a soul, with the hope that no one discovers that you're a mistake-- a child who wasn't supposed to live and was better off dead. I am one such child. For me, this is the reality and truth of my life.
 
After learning the truth of my conception  and near abortion, I began to look at my life as a lie. Instead of being the loved and cherished daughter of my adoptive parents, I was an unwanted child. I questioned my life, my very existence, in a world that once held so much meaning. Was I alive by a mere stroke of luck, or by the grace of God? Was I merely an unloved and unwanted baby thrust into the arms of parents looking for the "perfect" child? There are seminal moments in everyone's life when who and what they thought they were is challenged in a deeply profound and earth-shattering way. This discovery was my seminal moment, and I started to look at my life from a distance, as if through a telescope, with only a pinprick of light visible at the very end. How was I supposed to pick myself up and continue to live a life now deemed as a mistake from the start?
 
 
Growing up as an adopted child, my life wasn't that different from the lives of my friends and classmates. My parents were big believers in consequences for negative behavior, but I never was required to prove my worth to them. Often, my grades, or sometimes even my mouth, would get me into trouble, and I would find myself grounded. Once I corrected the offense, I got my freedom back. I learned quickly that actions had consequences, and these experiences led to a greater understanding of the importance of redemption, forgiveness, and trust. Never in this entire process did I ever feel unworthy of the love and respect given to me by my parents. I knew that my life had value simply because I existed.
 
This idea of every life having value is rejected by the pro-abortion movement, but you may be surprised to learn that it's a common attitude of some pro-lifers as well. As a child conceived in rape, I am constantly reminded by others in the pro-life movement that I am expendable, an exception. As a result, I am compelled to prove my worth professionally and personally every day of my life as if I'm a less valuable member of society due to the nature of my conception. My question is simple: Why? Why should I base my value on what others believe about the circumstances surrounding my creation? The answer equally is simple: I shouldn't! But some in the pro-life movement has turned children conceived through rape into second class citizens for more than 41 years. This is an everyday struggle for me and others conceived in rape. It comes with its own set of challenges, which include the dehumanization of our very existence.
 
People often tell me that I am taking the rape exception too personally or that I am overly sensitive. But I ask you, if an individual advocates for an exception for rape, how is that not an indictment of my value as a human being and how is that voice of support for a rape exception not directed at me and all the others who share similar circumstances? The children of rape must cope with the knowledge of the horrifying violence that led to their conceptions. They should never have to justify their existence and right to life to anyone.
 
The circumstances of a child's conception are irrelevant when it comes to the right to life. If we start deciding which babies are worthy of life and which should be sacrificed, we are no better than those we oppose. To be truly pro-life, we must protect and cherish the life of all the unborn, who are  made in God's image--fearfully and wonderfully made--and deserving of life.
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Sunday, March 2, 2014

From my first breath to her last

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           There are moments in our lives that define us--that push us, sometimes kicking and screaming, to be the person we are or to realize the person we could be. For some, it's a series of life events, but for others, it's a single, defining moment of clarity that hits you like lightning from the Heavens. For me, this single, defining moment was meeting my birth mother and discovering that I was a child conceived, not in love, but by a brutal act of violence.
           I often wonder what my life would be like had I never went searching for her and never uncovered the truth of my birth. Would I still be attending church "some" Sundays and carving out exceptions for abortion if the child was conceived by rape?  My answer, happily, is no because, since I met my birth mother I have become a better person, a better daughter, and a better Christian.
           When I got the call that my birth mother was in the hospital in Michigan and not doing well, I knew I needed to be there. At the age of 57, she had contracted a urinary tract infection that went septic. For seven days, she was on a ventilator fighting for her life, and for seven days, I was sitting beside her praying that God would give me more time with the woman who had given me life. Three years wasn't long enough to get to know the woman who sacrificed so much for me.  
            On the 4th day of her hospitalization, the doctors reported improvements in her test results. Encouraged, I decided to head home and see my children. My husband and I had been at the hospital every day, and this night we felt she was strong enough for us to go home and see our kids. We lived three hours from the hospital and we were completely exhausted.  She was still on a ventilator and couldn't talk. Before we left, I kissed her cheek and said, "Love ya girlfriend, you are my hero.".A single tear trickled down her cheek.. Arriving at the hospital the next morning, I was met with the distressing news that she had slipped into a coma during the night.  At the time I had kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, I didn't realize those were going to be the last words I said to her or I would have said so much more.
            My birth mother fought for three more days, but on the 7th day, the doctor delivered the devastating news: She was dying, and nothing could be done. My heart sank and all the hopes and dreams of a future with the woman who had given me life sank, too. That day I sat for hours watching the monitor and tracking every beat of her heart, every breath she took. Eventually, her heart beats slowed as did her breathing. My eyes were glued to the monitor. I was terrified that if I looked away, even for a second, the monitor would go silent and dark. The slower the beat of her heart, the more I fell apart. Then she took one last breath and her heart stopped. As I held my birth mother's hand in those final moments, my husband held me. I could feel his arms tighten around my waist--his presence an anchor gifted by God during one of life's stormy moments.
           Although I tried to be strong for my birth mother's husband, I completely fell apart! Tears flowed just thinking about what my  life would be without her presence, her courage, and her strength. This woman who had fought so hard for my life, carrying me to term, all the while knowing she couldn't love me the way I needed to be loved, knowing that I needed a mother and a father, and giving my Mom and Dad the most precious of gifts, a baby daughter. The most selfless gift a mother can give is her child, and she gave me freely, with no reservations. How blessed I am to have been given a gift of such magnitude that it can never be repaid. She believed in me until the day she died, and I believed in her. She was with me when I took my first breath, and I was holding her hand when she took her last. How amazing is God to allow her to be there for me when I needed her the most and how awesome is it that God allowed me to be there for her when she needed me the most?
           March 6th is the first anniversary of my birth mother's death, and I find myself missing her more than ever. Looking back at that day, there was so much more I wanted to say to her, so many more questions that will go unanswered. Since the day I reconnected with her I have spoken nationally and internationally on her amazing story of sacrifice, selflessness, and forgiveness.  Blessed with loving parents, an amazing husband, and my children, my life is a testament to the courage and strength of a scared 17-year-old girl who put her fears aside to save the life of an innocent child. And God willing, I will use that gift to speak for those who have no voice and for the sanctity of life in every mother's womb.

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Saturday, February 22, 2014

Baby saved from Abortion

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Seeing the fruits of our labor doesn't happen everyday in the pro-life community. But when a baby is saved from abortion, all glory be to God!
June 10, 2013 started out like any other day at "Allen County Right to Life" in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Everyone was working on projects for upcoming events. I was making calls regarding our Banquet dinner in October when my cell phone rang. It was my oldest daughter, Ali. I answered the phone and she informed me that a friend of hers had called her and asked if she would drive her to her appointment today at the abortion clinic. I sat stunned for a moment thinking why is this girl calling my daughter knowing that my daughter is against abortion. Ali asked me if she should go with her friend, and as stunned as I was, I immediately said "yes! She is going to need you!” I asked that she stop into my office first before she takes her into the clinic. I knew the resources we had could save this child's life. Ali agreed to bring her to the office before heading to the clinic. "Allen County Right to Life" is right beside the abortion clinic and two doors down from us is "The Hope Center" where they have an ultrasound machine.
I immediately let everyone in the office know what was going on. Julie Perkins, Executive Director of "Women's Health Link", and I started working on a plan. When my daughter arrived we immediately jumped into action working on saving this child's life and also this woman from a lifetime of guilt. Ali’s friend agreed to allow an ultrasound and what she saw, saved her child's life. She was 9 weeks pregnant and she started crying as soon as she saw her child on the screen.
Being a pro-life Christian and just trying to be faithful to Gods plan we sometimes don’t get to see the miracles that we are a part of. We occasionally lose site of God's path because we don't see the end result. Mother Theresa says it best "God doesn't ask us to be successful, he asks us to be faithful".
Feb 5th, 2014, I got to hold the child that was almost killed on June 10th, 2013. He came into this world weighting 9 lbs, 9 oz. and is beautiful. Welcome to the world Blake!
The reason I fight so hard for the unborn is because I was saved from abortion when my birth-mother changed her mind back in 1972, after being brutally raped at the age of 17. She abandoned me at a hospital 2 hours after I was born. Saving lives has been a part of my daily routine for a long time, as today I am a firefighter and a medic. I have been named the "Fighter for Life" by my friends in South Africa! I am so blessed to have been able to follow God's path that he so intricately laid out for me all those years ago. I know that these blessings are from a scared, selfless, 17 year old girl.
Along with my busy schedule working as a medic/firefighter, I am also the founder of "Living Exceptions". Living Exceptions is an organization made up of individuals who were conceived in rape or incest and teaches pro-lifers how to be 100% pro-life and not make exceptions for the lives that are less convenient. You can connect with a pro-life speaker at www.LivingExceptions.com.
I have dedicated my life to saving lives, born and unborn!



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