Friday, November 8, 2013

The death of a child is a parent’s worst nightmare. We go through this life believing that our children bury us, not that we will bury our children. That somehow we will always out live our children. But for my parents, their worst nightmare came true. My brother’s death was undeniably the worst day of my parents’ lives. But through the grief of losing a son, God's plan was to save two little girls.

My parents were married on June 27, 1970 after my dad returned home from Vietnam. They had dated for many years and knew they would get married and start a family when he finally returned. My dad always prayed for a son, like most fathers do, to carry on the family name. He would have taken any child that God gave him, and to his excitement he was blessed with a son on June 2, 1971.
My mom tells me the story of how my little brother, Robbie, was born three years before me and passed away after only living 24 hours. “He was absolutely beautiful and perfect,” my mom says. All 10 pounds, 13 ounces of him. “I know he is in heaven waiting for me and I know he is in good hands.” She points out that she trusted God and his reasoning but never understood it. Today she says “His reasoning is clear”.
As long as I can remember, my adoption was something I always knew about even though my parents didn't talk about it often. I was one of their daughters, and was never made to feel like anything but. My parents had three children in addition to Robbie. I have an older sister who was adopted also and a younger sister who is their biological child. My older sister was 2-years-old, malnourished and abused, when she was placed with my parents. She was taken from her parents because of abuse and neglect and almost died because of it. I was brought to my parents on June 8, 1973 after becoming eligible for adoption. My parents were told that I was placed for adoption because my birth mother was too young to care for me. Later we discovered that my birth-mother was very young and was brutally raped and as a result became pregnant with me. My older sister and I were chosen by my adoptive parents. My family was then blessed five years later when my mother became pregnant and gave birth to my younger sister.
When we were young, my older sister used to hook me up to a dog chain and make me drink from a dog bowl. When she started making me eat dog treats I quickly discovered that I was being mistreated. Although the dog treats weren’t bad as they tasted like bacon, I had to tell her enough was enough. My older sister was known for how bossy she was and I was known as the instigator. My younger sister was known as the informer and was sent with me to most parties to fill my parents in when we returned. I am sure you understand my parents’reasoning for sending the informer with the instigator. For some reason it never worked out well for me.
My dad often laughed about having three girls. Living in a huge house with nine rooms and only one bathroom, God obviously had a sense of humor. My dad is thankful now that his three girls are married with families of their own because his showers are hot instead of cold. He often would ask, “Who used all the hot water?” Being the instigator I would speak up quickly and say, “Not me; it was your other daughters!” My younger sister (the informer) would quickly point out that I was in the bathroom for over an hour with the water running. My dad did, however, make sure that our family dog was a male so he didn't feel so outnumbered.
Growing up adopted has provided many emotions that most don’t understand. I felt blessed to be a part of such an amazing family but I always wanted to meet the woman who gave birth to me and thank her for allowing me to be so blessed by an amazing family. I have met my birth mother and I hugged her and thanked her for giving me the gift of adoption. She was beautiful and amazing. She was so thankful that she was able to take her worst pain, and turn it into such a beautiful gift for my parents.
My parents continue to love this instigator unconditionally and have been amazing role models for me. They have been married for 46 years and their endless love for each other is truly breathtaking. My mom states today that God's reasoning is clear. She knows that two little girls desperately needed a home with two loving parents and if Robbie wouldn't have gone to heaven so soon, where would her two daughters be today? I used to think that I was a gift from God to my parents, today I realize that my parents were a gift for me.
Today, I am a pro-life speaker and adoption advocate traveling the world spreading the message that God can take our deepest pain, and turn it into something beautiful. You can follow me on this path that God has so intricately paved for me at
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
The odds of finding a diamond at Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas is less than 1% a year. This park is known for their motto "finders, keepers." More than 150,000 people a year try their luck at digging for diamonds and less than 600 diamonds are found each year. Some individuals spend their entire vacation and walk away with just wet clothes, dirty shoes, and some dusty memories. But it's the thought of "what if" that keeps people coming back year after year. Some people think it's just luck, but after my visit and amazing discovery of a sparkling jewel among the dirt and rocks, I believe it was truly a sign from above.
In March when my birthmother passed away unexpectedly at the age of 57, a part of my life was gone. This facet of my life was over, I thought, as if a part of me died with her. I was angry that God had taken her from me so soon. Even though I reconnected with her 3 years ago and loved every minute of our bittersweet reunion, three years wasn't enough time to get to know the woman who sacrificed so much to bring me into this world. As I sat by her hospital bed holding her hand and praying, she took her last breath. My heart was broken.
At the age of 17, my birthmother, much to her horror, was violently raped and became pregnant with me. She hid her pregnancy from the outside world and abandoned me at a hospital two hours after I was born. As I spoke at her funeral about the courage, hope, and sacrifice it took for her to give birth to me and place me up for adoption, many of the people in attendance were shocked. Some had no idea that I even existed. I quickly realized that I was this family's secret, my birthmothers "diamond in the rough," if you will.
After the funeral, I became good friends with a cousin of mine who almost became my sister. My cousins parents (my birth aunt and uncle) knew about the pregnancy and wanted to adopt me, but my birthmother's mother had other plans: First, abortion, and then if that didn't happen, adoption for sure. The adoption was a gift to my adoptive parents, who had been praying for a child for years. My mom and dad are my inspiration, and I couldn't imagine my life without them in it.
On October 20th, my birth cousin and I traveled to Arkansas, the home of my ancestors, to spend time with some of my birthmother's family. I went to see where my grandparents were buried, and to my shock, discovered my grandfather passed away when my birthmother was pregnant with me. Discovering this news and seeing his tombstone made me appreciate my birthmother's courage and strength even more. First, being raped and then finding out she is pregnant with me, followed by her father's passing would bring anyone to their knees. How strong she must have been!
During the visit, my birth cousin and I decided to try our luck at treasure hunting at Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas. This year only 399 people out of 60,000 visitors to the park have uncovered diamonds. After sifting through dirt for two hours, clothes wet and shoes dirty, we decided that my 82-year-old uncle, who tagged along, was tired of sifting through dirt, so we decided to call it a day. I took a short walk around the property, appreciating the gift God had given me. I had prayed for my birth family for years and here I am spending time with two people my birthmother cherished and loved unconditionally. It was the answer to so many of my prayers. As I was heading back up to get my bucket and join my family, I happened to look down and a shining sparkle in the gravel caught my eye. I bent over, brushed the top of the stone off, and picked it up. I knew what it was as soon as I held it up: a yellow diamond. The staff at the park verified it was a diamond and weighed it. Much to my surprise, it was over a half carat. My diamond is number 400 for the year 2013.
After arriving back home and gathering my thoughts, I realized that the week with my birth family had been about family, life, and the power of prayer. For so many years, I prayed for a relationship with my birth family. I had faith that when God knew it was time, he would let it shine and sparkle. I had faith that one day I would become my birthmother's "diamond in the rough". My birthmother loved life, the outdoors, and her family, me included. She loved me so much that she gave me what she knew she couldn't--the love and security of an amazing adoptive family. Maybe the visit to the park was a reminder that the light is still shining. That a diamond in the rough is always just a step away! God took my birthmother's deepest pain and turned it into the most precious of jewels--a future of faith and family for her baby. Then He took my pain from her death and turned it into an answered prayer. Thank you, Lord, for my birthmother, her family and her strength, and of course, for the gift of what I thought would be unanswered prayers.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I was very upset when the Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act was passed by the U.S. House of Representatives in June with a rape exception added to it. Just because I was conceived in rape doesn't mean my pain scale is different then a child conceived with wine and roses. The bill originally had no exceptions in it until Trent Franks' comment during a House Judiciary hearing on the bill on Wed., June 12, 2013. Trent stated that he objected to a rape exception being added because "the incidence of rape resulting in pregnancy are very low." This not only echoes the voice of Todd Akin last August, but also much of the leaders of the pro-life movement who tend to diminish the incidence of pregnancy by rape. "It's only 1%" is their motto, instead of just standing up to defend my life and other lives conceived out of rape.

All of the Democrats had opposed the original bill, but two pro-choice Democrats were trying to introduce a rape exception John Conyers from Michigan and Jerry Nadler from New York. Every single Republican UNANIMOUSLY voted against the rape exception amendment, citing that too much time would have gone by to justify a late-term abortion for this exception. This was on Wed., June 12th.

But Trent Franks' comments were quickly picked up by every liberal news media outlet, and by Saturday, we began hearing talk that a rape exception amendment was being introduced this time, by a Republican! In fact, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor of Virginia formally introduced the rape exception amendment on Monday, June 17th. Then on Tuesday, June 18th, the bill with the rape exception in it, was voted on and passed. 6 Democrats voted for it and 6 Republicans voted against it. 2 Republicans are from Georgia, whose Right to Life affiliate is a no exception / no compromise organization.

So how did this bill go from having EVERY Republican vote down a rape exception, to having nearly EVERY Republican vote FOR a rape exception? Well, pro-life leadership surely had a role, right? If there are political consequences like losing a PAC-endorsement, having their scorecard with NRLC affected, wouldn't that certainly make a difference? So what would any pro-life organization do? They would bring in people like me who was conceived in rape to show my value, to talk them out of supporting the exception. Right? Well I never received a call and no other member of Save The 1 has received a call yet either.

I was shocked to hear recently that a pro-life U.S. Congressman who is 100% pro-life, with no exceptions, voted for the Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, with rape exception added to it. This is because he said he was warned by National Right to Life that it would go against his "scorecard" if he tried to oppose the exceptions by voting against the bill with the exceptions in it. Why would a pro-life organization risk so much to pass a bill with exceptions especially when they had the votes a week before? Does this kind of bologna really happen? Then I received a copy of the letter sent to all of the pro-life members of Congress the night before the vote was to be taken on, confirming that this type of threat was really made.
For the past week, I debated blogging on this and publicly releasing the "smoking gun" letter. Many of my friends are with NRLC affiliates. I volunteer several days a week at a local affiliate. These are good pro-life people and I have nothing bad to say about any of the people who are working for and volunteering for Right to Life, they are my favorite people on earth! But this strategy from NRLC is degrading to me and my friends who fight every day to show the value of a child conceived in rape. It's not becoming of the pro-life movement and there is nothing honorable about it. Since the bill did not pass the Senate, it will surely be introduced again in the next Congress, and the same damaging tactic could be employed again. And so, I'm posting this letter with great sadness, but I feel that these tactics are a virus and the only way to be healed from it is to expose it. So I am posting the NRLC letter below. Now can anyone say to me that this letter is honorable? Is this manipulating and threatening? Is it a form of slander to a good pro-life Congressmen who take an honorable stand against the rape exception? Do Paul Braun and Rob Woodall of Georgia deserve to have NLRC tell their pro-life supporters nationwide that these good men are pro-choice and that they support the killing of babies after six months gestation? Even if you support compromise, do you support these tactics? Does Eric Cantor deserve a RTL PAC-endorsement while Paul Braun and Rob Woodall get trashed? I'd like to hear from all of you after reading the letter below. Is this what you stand for? Or does the pro-life movement need to change its strategies and get serious about protecting all?
-- Monica Kelsey
Conceived in rape, Pro-life Speaker

---------- Forwarded message ----------From: <> Date: Mon, Jun 17, 2013 at 7:15 PMSubject: NRLC scorecard letter on H.R. 1797 (20-week abortion bill)To:

June 17, 2013

RE: Scorecard advisory on H.R. 1797,
Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act
Dear Member of Congress:
The National Right to Life Committee (NRLC), the federation of state right-to-life organizations, urges you to vote in favor of our organization’s top congressional priority for 2013 – the Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act (H.R. 1797).
NRLC regards this bill as the most important single piece of pro-life legislation to come before the House since the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act was enacted, a full decade ago. H.R. 1797 would extend protection nationwide to unborn children who have reached 20 weeks fetal age (i.e., the sixth month and later), based on findings that by that point, if not before, they have attained the capacity to experience great pain as they are being aborted.
NRLC urges you to vote for the Rule on this legislation, to oppose the hostile motion to recommit, and to vote for final passage.
NRLC will regard a vote against this legislation, no matter what justification is offered, as a vote to allow unlimited abortion in the sixth month or later – and that is the way it will be reported in our scorecard of key right-to-life roll calls of the 113th Congress, and in subsequent communications from National Right to Life to grassroots pro-life citizens in every state.

David N. O’Steen, Ph.D.
Executive Director
Douglas Johnson
Legislative Director
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
After I wrote my article about Ashley and Aiden I was contacted by a few people with similar stories. One story however broke my heart. Angela wrote to me asking for help for her friend Mariah, that was raped and now pregnant. The story didn't end there. This girl was brave enough to choose life for her unborn baby against her mothers advice but because of her decision to chose life she was kicked out of her parents house. Mariah was now sleeping at a friends apartment and had been for some time. My heart just broke for this girl who had no support. So I immediately got in contact with her and made arrangements to meet. I met Mariah when she was 29 weeks pregnant and still living with a friend. While we sat at a coffee shop talking, Mariah just cried. Mariah was 17 years old and while at a college party with her friends she was drugged, raped and is now pregnant. Mariah was a virgin and was waiting till marriage. Mariah pressed charges against the rapist and there is a warrant out for his arrest but he is on the run. Mariah's story of courage and strength starts here. Mariah's mother wanted Mariah to have an abortion but Mariah declined. After realizing that Mariah wasn't going to have an abortion her mom suggested adoption. When Mariah let her mother know that she was going to raise her child, Mariah was kicked out on the street and left to fend for herself. Her mother based her decisions to kick her out on how this was going to affect Mariah's younger sister. She was heart broken with the lack of support from her mother.

While talking at the coffee shop we talked about adoption, parenting and her plans for school if she parents. Mariah is a very smart, brave,  pretty young girl who I have to say I admire so much. To stand strong about not having an abortion and now wanting to parent she is an inspiration to me.

Sunday August 11th Mariah moved back into her parents home and has started to work on her relationship with her Mom. This makes my heart smile. Mariah says they have a ways to go but she is hopeful.
Last week when I took Ashley to Cedar Point, I told her about Mariah. Her response "I want to help her". Last night while sitting at dinner with Mariah I got a text from Ashley who was going through all Aidens newborn clothes. These clothes no longer fit Aiden so Ashley is boxing them up for Mariah. Mariah is also going to be raising a son. I am just so filled with joy that all the donations that were sent for Ashley are now going to be helping yet another child and his mother. This is what being pro-life is all about guys.  Helping the least of us. I have fallen in love with these two strong girls and the strength that they both are doing what is right.  These two girls didn't asked to be raped and certainly didn't ask to be pregnant, but there actions are inspiring. We all could learn alot from them and their sacrifices.

Mariah is now 33 weeks pregnant and is need of donated items.  Anyone wanting to donate gently used items please contact me. 

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

As a firefighter and medic, I’ve pretty much seen it all. Seeing these emergencies and catastrophes in the field bring emotions also. But the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life came when I heard that I was conceived during a brutal act of violence. I never thought I would hear the words "conceived in rape" when I reconnected with my birthmother a few years ago. Sitting in her living room and holding my husband’s hand, we heard the horrible details of a dark night back in 1972. My birthmother was 17 years old. She was leaving a steakhouse when she agreed to a ride with a man and his friend. This man didn't take her home, but rather took her to a dark road a few miles outside of town and violently raped her. Afterwards, he left her to find her own way home. Bloodied and hurting, she walked home and went to her room and cried. This night was the start of my birthmother’s hell!

The next morning, she confided in her mother and headed for the police station. Charges were filed.

Just when my birthmother started to see some normalcy a few weeks later, she found out she was pregnant with me. She was devastated. She wondered, what will people say? Will she be known as the town slut for a crime she didn't commit? She told me that this is when she fell into a complete depression. She said she cried for weeks. Then at the advice of her mother, she found herself at a back alley abortion clinic. She told me she wanted to "get her life back!" In her mind, if she could make my life go away, then she could go on with her life like nothing ever happened. So she thought that having an illegal abortion would get her life back to normal. But after going to the room and sitting on the gurney where my life would be ended, she changed her mind. She left there and never looked back. Her mother hid her from the outside world. She gave birth to me and abandoned me at a hospital two hours after birth. But she gave me the greatest gift I have ever received. On top of giving me my life, she gave me an amazing adoptive family! For that I am forever grateful.

I started telling my birthmother’s story a few years ago and the more I spoke about her the more blessed I felt to have been given this gift of life. It also started to raise questions about my life as to who I am or why I am here. Questions that I only found justification with the answers coming from her. We spoke often on the phone and every time we talked I always came up with more questions that I longed to hear the answers to. Some answers I don't think I was equipped to hear, and others I longed to know. But for me to heal and find my value, I needed to hear the truth from her.

On March 6, 2013 at the age of 57, my birthmother passed away from a urinary tract infection that went septic. For seven days while on a ventilator she fought for her life and for 7 days I sat beside her praying that God would give me more time. But God had other plans for her. She was with me when I took my first breath and I was with her, holding her hand, when she took her last. I am so humbled that her family allowed me to be a part of their lives those final seven days. It allowed me to be there to show her how much I appreciate her sacrifices of bringing me into this world and giving me an amazing life.

I found my value through her story and I have come to peace with the fact that my birthfather is a rapist.

I have been in contact with my birthfather. I asked for his medical history and a DNA test, which he agreed to. A few weeks later, he had hired an attorney and he asked me to stay away from him and his family. I have since started praying for his family so hopefully one day he can find peace like I have.

For now, I continue to tell my birthmother’s story of courage, love and faith. She is the hero and I am the one who received her precious gift. Before she passed away she told me that its amazing how something so beautiful has come out of something so horrible. I have to agree because our relationship was a beautiful thing. As a firefighter, medic and pro-life advocate, I will continue to fight to save the lives of all, especially babies conceived in rape. You can follow my journey at or